There is hole in my SOUL and as I tread along it gets wider. My appetite has become insatiable. I talk too much & my lack of mannerism is a show of arrogance.
My performance is weak & it deviates from the righteous path. I flourish in pretense and I entertain the worldly and the ungodly. I enjoy defying prohition instead of submission.
Each year my Ummah seeks from this holy month of Ramadan to redeem its shortcomings, making long prostrations, reciting the Qur’an, making aitakaf, performing the ibada of Allah swt and seeking from His immense blessings.
I have crossed paths with many a Ramadan and have also performed Haj and Umra with millions of my kind from far and wide. I am told that visits to the
holy places are a source of spiritual rejuvenation. Nearly 150 million of my people are supposedly cleansed annually as they pass through the two Harems. Do you see any change in my kind? I am still the defiant one. My sins are numerous and my ummah is weak.
All these rituals now seem so pretentious and hollow, without any substance. I say this because I see no visible change in my Ummah. The imaan does not seem to have trickled down the throats. It seems to have barely scratched the surface and is only skin-deep.
The interaction with the fellow men is still dishonest, and deceitful and treacherous without any visible signs of taqwa and the fear of Allah swt. All the promises and the duaas now seem so superficial.
This is borne out by the farcical attendance in the masajid on the very second day of Shawal. None of the ibada of Ramadhan seems to have touched the hearts. We are still the same old amorphous beings, dispirited masses of men with small minds – remnants of a scrap material from the generations boasting of a great history!
In sura Al Hadid ayah 16 Allah swt says
57:16 Has not the time come for the hearts of those who believe in the Oneness of Allah to MELT by Allah’s Reminder – the Qur’an and that which has been revealed of the truth, lest they become as those who received the Scripture [the Taurat (Torah) and the Injeel ] i.e. Jews and Christians, so their hearts were hardened? And many of
them were Fasiqun, rebellious and disobedient to Allah.”
And again in Ayah 20 He swt tells us of our materialistic life style.
57: 20.- Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children. It is as the likeness of vegetation after the rain, when the growth is pleasing to the tiller. Afterwards it dries up and you see it turns yellow; then it becomes straw. But in the Hereafter there is a severe torment for the disbelievers, evil-doers, and there is Forgiveness from Allah and His Good Pleasure for the believers, good doers. Whereas the life of this world is only a deception.
In sura Al Tauba Ayah 126 it is emphasised that:
Don’t these people see that once or twice every year they are put to some
trial and tribulations. And yet they do not repent and neither do they seek forgiveness nor do they accept any advice.
After telling us of His infinite Mercy, in Surah Zummar # 39 Ayah 53 Allah swt asks us in the next two ayahs to come back to Him and seek His forgiveness lest His punishment strikes us without any warning and then no help would be available.
But our dilemma emanates from the example set by the affluent. They are far removed from the Deen and their arrogant life style smacks of greed, lust, deceit and corruption. The rot sets in and the society begins to degenerate. It is then that the divine laws seize control as mentioned in Surat Bani Israel # 17, Ayah 16. It is stated that:
“Whenever we plan to destroy a nation we let its affluent make mischief and
transgress. Then our wrath is affixed on then and we destroy them completely.”
The endless game of pretence in piety goes on dislay day after day, year after year. And we have the impunity to claim that we are the best of the believers.
This mockery has to end if we wish to seek the rewards from the unfathomable mercy of Allah swt.
The discrimination between what is Halal – that which is permissible against that which is forbidden, does not seem to effect us in any way. We continue unashamedly in our unholy existence unconcerned of the consequences in the hereafter.
Our insatisable desire for amassing the material possessions by whatever means, has become the sole purpose of our existence. We have lost sight of the fear of Allah swt.
We see people making long prostration and Aitekaf during Ramadan seeking for forgiveness of their misdeeds. But it seems that they are willing to relinquish only those of their sins which do not directly affect their economic wellbeing. Anything beyond that is deliberately ignored. This is making a mockery of the Deen and contemptously ridiculing the ibada.
Allah swt mentions in Sura Al Baqara about the people of Bani Israel who would believe in a part of the book and ignore a part of it. Our status has been reduced to their level of hypocrisy.
This mockery of the Deen is viewed with great displeasure by Allah swt. He says in sura Al Saff 61, Ayah 2 & 3 that “O you who profess to believe, why do you say what you do not do. Allah does not like those who say but do not perform.” We are told that the hypocrites will find a place in the deepest level of Hell fire.
In sura Anfaal 8 Ayah 2 – 4 Allah swt says: ‘True believers are the ones whose hearts tremble when Allah’s Ayahs are recited in front of them. They feel a surge in their imaan and they put their faith in Allah.”
In my desire for redemption, I have been waiting for that dawn of mercy and forgiveness when I will be reborn.
Perhaps it is this Ramadhan when Allah in all His magnificence will cast a merciful glance & cleanse my soul.
It seems likely that the time of my reawakening has come and He swt is waiting for me to pray in repentence for my deliverance. I now need to bow down to Him, the Almighty and seek refuge with Him. I am certain He will accept my dua’as in shaa Allah.
May Allah swt guide and protect us and keep us in His immense mercy and forgive our shortcomings.
Ameen ya Rabal Aalameen.